Update #8 by Lauren........(I admire her strength!!!)

UPDATE #1 - We're back to square 1. Unfortunately the transplant, that I was meant to be admitted for today, has been delayed due to the leukaemia coming back and there being too many leukaemia cells in my blood. The reason they won't do the transplant is because if there's too many leukaemia cells, the likelihood of the new stem cells that they give me won't be able to settle into my body as the leukaemia cells would band together and kill them off pretty quickly which is not the outcome we want. So basically what needs to happen is for them to get me into remission again and as I'm no longer allowed anymore chemo because I've had so much in my life span options are becoming harder to find.

Luckily there is this drug on a worldwide trial at the moment. This was the drug that when I first relapsed my doctor thought I would be able to receive but unfortunately due to the nature of being in a trial I did not get picked to receive it, however now that I have gone through the trial and given data on the standard treatment (chemo) and this being a unique circumstance I'm in, my doctors are pretty hopeful they will get this drug within the next week for me to receive. This drug is not a chemo drug and comes with very few side affects (I won't loose the fluff that I've grown on top of my head for instance). And the way it works is by targeting a certain protein that's in the leukaemia cell which to me has always sounded like the better option so in a way I'm relieved that things have ended up this way - I've always had a good gut instinct about this drug. However the odds of me going into remission are once again a 50/50 or possibly lower chance as its still on trial. But of course I'm believing that this drug will get me into remission and if it does then as soon as I am in remission I'll go straight into transplant as the cord blood has now arrived and is being stored in Adelaide.

And for those who want to know how I'm holding up - in a way in really relieved and excited to try this drug that I really wanted at the start but at the same time this setback has taken its toll on my positivity because if this doesn't end up working then I'll have to look for alternative treatments overseas so please pray, meditate, reflect, send your love or whatever you do that in this weird and crazy world has the ability to create miracles. Because fingers and everything else crossed that this drug will be the thing that works and that my transplant afterwards will just blow cancer out of my body forever. ‪#‎fuckleukaemia‬ ‪#‎fuckcancer‬

(see yesterday's post for some recent photos)