So I came in for my next lot of chemo today at the outpatient clinic when the docs come and see me. They of course ask about how my sinuses are feeling after having my sinus infection and the truth is my ears are still feeling blocked and I sometimes feel the need to blow my brains out. So they send me off to have a CT scan and the results were that the infection had only budged a little. So before I start any chemo or even any pre-transplant examinations/tests they want this infection gone and hence why I am in here again. This time at least they know what it is so they're hitting me up with some pretty awesome antibiotics until the ear nose and throat dudes come and see me sometime this week.
As for my week at home - gaaaahhh it was just what I needed!! Pulled out the old Nintendo Wii, went for drives to outlooks, beaches and botanic gardens, ate too many chicken nuggets and also had a chance to catch up with some of my closest friends as well as my little canteen squad. And even though being home is certainly better than being in hospital - I've certainly noticed the pressures/fears/doubts a young person has when dealing with the effects of cancer more so in this past week than in recent weeks.
It's really hard - at a time when you are meant to be at your most independent, beautiful or talented you feel like you're just not because let's face it, at the end of the day you're sick and you sometimes feel and look sick. And I know this is quite a morbid thought but it's my reality and I'm sure it's the reality for other young adult patients as well. Not being able to drive, having a bald head and stopping my studies were all things I thought would be some of the easiest challenges I would face, but in the past week I have found that not having independence, not having society's version of average beauty or not being able to continue being normal and studying something I dearly love has really started to bug me. And I'm not asking for sympathy and I'm certainly not turning into a negative bastard but youth cancer in its own right is something that is still just starting off and needs a little more recognition because it is so different going through this journey as a young adult compared to going through it as a child or teenager. Thankfully there are some amazing organisations out there who help just us young people out (Canteen, Youth Cancer Service, Redkite) so if you're a young person or know a young person going through something similar then please either contact me (I'm absolute crap at replying but I love having a good chat once I get to it) or check out one of the organisations listed above!!
Anyway, I've had a pretty awesome week and it looks like I won't be in here for too long!!! And like always, but this time in capitals cause it deserves it and looks way more intimidating, #FUCKCANCER
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